[0:00 – 1:21]
Meg Faure: Today we have a very special episode featuring our regular guest Nina and her delightful 12-week-old little one, Josh. We are going to be talking about that wonderful age and stage, which is the 12-week turning point. Today’s episode is packed with heartwarming stories, practical advice, and some key takeaways that will help you to solve some of the common challenges. So what are you going to learn today? You can discover how bonding with your little one is a unique journey and we’re going to hear insights from Nina’s experience. She started off her journey not being completely smitten with her little one, and yet now is completely in love with him, and we talk a little bit about that journey to bonding. We also are going to learn about some practical sleep strategies for your baby, including the benefits of contact napping and the tips for transitioning to independent sleep. And I give her tips on how to use weighted blankets and white noise and all of that type of thing. And you can also gain some valuable tips on managing the common challenges. And one of those we talk about today specifically is how do we make car rides more enjoyable for babies who experience distress. If you’ve got a little one who cries every time they are popped into the car seat, this is definitely something that I can bring some solutions for. And we talk about things like weighted blankets to a visually engaging ride, lots of other ideas that can help you to transform your car rides with your little ones. So don’t go away. Join us for this episode. It’s got some wonderful laughs, lots of learning and of course lots and lots of love because it’s the age and stage where we all do fall in love with our little ones. So don’t go away, join us today.
[1:22 – 2:04]
Announcer: Welcome to Sense by Meg Faure, the podcast that’s brought to you by ParentSense, the app that takes guesswork out of parenting. If you’re a new parent then you are in good company. Your host Meg Faure is a well-known OT, infant specialist and the author of eight parenting books. Each week we’re going to spend time with new mums and dads just like you to chat about the week’s wins, the challenges and the questions of the moment. Subscribe to the podcast, download the ParentSense app and catch Meg here every week to make the most of that first year of your little one’s life. And now, meet your host.
[2:06 – 3:05]
Meg Faure: Welcome back mums and dads, it is always wonderful to have you here with us. Today we have got one of our regular guests back with us, which is really super. It’s Nina Clark. Nina is mom to two little ones. Her latest addition to the family, who’s just 12 weeks old, is little Josh. And we’ve been tracking Josh’s journey since he was born and it’s just been really amazing to track his journey because Nina has had a very, very different experience this time round than the first time when she was a first-time mom on her own, not in a village really in London. So this time round it is a very different experience and it’s been wonderful to hear your journey. Nina, thank you for joining us.
Nina Clark: Oh, thank you for having me as always, such a treat.
Meg Faure: 12 weeks is such a cute age, isn’t it?
Nina Clark: It really is. No, I must say this kid is a delight. I literally just want to eat him. He’s the sweetest little pudding. The smiles and the cooing and the just the feedback is incredible. I am just loving it. So sometimes I do find myself on something incredibly… like, I just can’t wait for him to wake up because I just want to like, I just want to see that smile. It’s just going to make my day. So yeah, it’s a good one so far.
[3:05 – 4:13]
Meg Faure: And you know it’s amazing Nina because you were super candid in our first or second conversation where you said you were warming up slowly and bonding wasn’t just happening, you weren’t just falling into it and we talked about how it is so different in every, for different mums but also for different children. And here you’re talking about being completely smitten and I can hear that primary maternal preoccupation, that complete obsession with your little one. Um, I mean what, is there anything you can identify as a trigger or was it just a slow journey or is it, does it get better every day? Tell us a little bit about that bonding journey.
Nina Clark: Yeah, I think, I don’t know what it was. I think in the beginning potentially, I mean, I don’t know what it is about me that I don’t get that attachment straight away as baby comes out of me. Um, but I think this time around it definitely um took a little bit longer because of the preoccupation with Max, I would say. And also potentially the lack of spending time with Josh because there was just the most massive, incredibly involved, I’m so grateful for them, village. Um, who was um, yeah, I suppose taking so much time with Josh that I, I guess I didn’t have that sitting around for hours, loving him, staring into his closed eyes as he slept and that kind of a thing that I’m sure just helps so much for you to feel bonded to the baby.
[4:13 – 5:20]
Nina Clark: Um, so I think that probably is it and I think also I, I sense that I’m a little bit more of a slightly older kid um, mom, not the like very, very newborn mom where there’s just absolutely no feedback and you just, you know, you just sort of um, attending to their very, very basic needs. So I think as that’s growing from his side as well, it’s just giving me so much pleasure. Maybe selfishly, that’s that’s making me enjoy him so much more.
Meg Faure: Yeah. And I think it’s just such an important message for moms because I think we get quite nervous and I, and there was a little bit of, I mean, you didn’t seem nervous about it at the time, but there is just a little bit of you kind of feeling, “Oh gosh, why am I not feeling this absolutely smitten feeling right from the get go?” And I think a lot of moms feel like that, like this is not what the Johnson’s adverts are made out to be. I don’t feel that kind of deep smitten love with my little one. Um, and it gives a lot of moms hope to know that actually it can grow over time and it will get better and better of course, which is really amazing.
[5:20 – 6:04]
Meg Faure: So another thing that I picked up on you saying is that one of the things that you love so much is that you’re starting to get that feedback and that you are a mom who responds to that. And you know, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the term circles of communication or serve and return. So both of those are terms that were coined out of Harvard University’s Centre for the Developing Child. And they both refer pretty much to the same thing and that is that um, a little one or a human being actually engages and opens a circle of communication and what is supposed to then happen is that somebody’s supposed to close that circle of communication. And another term for it is serve and return. So as you communicate something, your little one communicates something back to you. And it is such a critical part of emotional and social development. And that’s exactly what you’re seeing now come out in Josh, like as little as he is at three months old. This is the social stage of opening and closing those circles of communication.
[6:04 – 6:49]
Meg Faure: And when little ones get feedback at this age and open and close their circles of communication, it like lays down the most incredible foundations for long-term social and emotional well-being. And it’s actually one of the developmental stages that they have to go through preferably by the time they’re about four or five months. So they’re actually really are getting the sense that, “Okay, if I do something, somebody will respond back to me.” So that’s what you’re articulating there, which is amazing.
Nina Clark: Awesome. Okay, good. We are on track.
Meg Faure: You really are, you really are. And that cooing is also something that they start to try now. Is he able to, is it coordinated yet or is he still making those kind of difficult squawks because he’s not quite getting the the breath right?
Nina Clark: No, I definitely feel like he’s making the coos and they are very cute, very different ones where he sort of also like pulls his little body a little bit when he does it and it’s like in a very sort of cheeky way, you know.
[6:50 – 7:38]
Nina Clark: Um, it’s incredibly sweet and very endearing. And then he’s also doing a lot of like blowing raspberries and um, and all of that as well. So there’s just yeah, there’s a whole lot going on. A lot of drooling as well. This is totally off topic now, but this is something that’s been coming up a lot the past week or two. Um, so I feel like we we’re nearing the bib phase now probably as well. Um, yeah, you forget how quickly those things come around.
Meg Faure: I mean little ones are so different. Some of them really use their mouth to self-regulate a lot and they tend to be the big droolers. So they put their hands in their mouth a lot, they gnaw things in their mouth a lot, they make lots of sounds with their mouth. And then they obviously produce a lot of drool because of that. And others are much less oral. So he’s maybe quite social, quite oral.
Nina Clark: Okay, that’s interesting. So is that the connection sometimes when like the social side to the more oral side? Those are the… That’s sort of a connection or not necessarily?
[7:38 – 8:20]
Meg Faure: No, not necessarily. The oral is more that that’s what he’s using to self-regulate. So little ones will use something to self-regulate. So it’s more that he’s going to potentially use his mouth. I actually had one of my children was incredibly oral and I mean if there wasn’t something in his mouth, he was actually dysregulated. And so there was always, I mean when he was little it was a dummy and then when we got rid of the dummies when he was about two and a half, he then, I used to actually carry around, it sounds bizarre, but a vibrating toothbrush so that he could actually sit and kind of just use the vibration on his on his in his mouth, even when he was a toddler, you know, just to occupy something in his mouth. So he was just a very oral kid. It was what he used to self-regulate. He did happen to be very social as well. But I don’t think that connection is necessarily there. Although I suppose your social babies are the ones who are seeking sensory information and so therefore maybe they do use their mouths more to self-regulate. So maybe there is a connection. Um, yeah, something for me to think about actually, very interesting question. I love it.
[8:20 – 8:36]
Nina Clark: No, I definitely think that Josh is oral because he is um, you know, there’s the drooling, there’s a something in the mouth the whole time. Um, and especially, I mean, he even likes to just like put his fist in a little bit and then he just sucks on that. Um, the dummy is a little bit touch and go. I must say, I’m very surprised that he hasn’t like totally taken to it and just wants it in his mouth the whole time. It very much is a, yeah, some days he likes it, some days he doesn’t.
[8:36 – 8:58]
Meg Faure: Very interesting. And what is he, and how is he doing sleep wise if he’s not using a dummy consistently? Is he able to settle himself back to sleep at all or what what’s happening on sleep?
Nina Clark: Oh, Meg, sleep wise is a bit of a can of worms at the moment. And um, definitely keen to get your input there because um, daytime sleeps, let’s start with that. Um, are very much um, uh, short and sweet if it’s not on someone. So contact naps are a total win for this baby. I mean, he can sleep for ages if he is on someone.
[8:58 – 10:17]
Nina Clark: Thank goodness he transfers relatively well. So if there’s a few people around, I can at least, you know, feed him, he falls asleep and then I can transfer him to someone else if there’s a willing person, a willing warm body, um, which was very much the case um, over the holidays. And I think again, we sort of spoiled him with contact naps because you know, there were so many willing participants. Now there’s less so. And so I’m finding myself quite frustrated being nap trapped for multiple hours in the day. So I kind of, what I’m doing at the moment, which is definitely not sustainable, but um, it just seems to give him the longest sleeps as if I sort of lie next to him on the bed, he’s on the boob, he falls asleep like that. And then after quite a long time, it definitely needs to be when he’s properly solidly in that deep sleep, then I can um, you know, with uh, sort of gymnastic um, accuracy, um, get myself out of the room um, and then he can sleep for another little bit. Um, but otherwise it’s literally like as soon as I put him down, he just wakes up. And then I try and put in the dummy and and that usually tends to not work. Nighttime sleeps are amazing. So he tends to settle pretty quickly. He goes into his cot and he just sleeps. He’s been sleeping through the night, touch wood, for probably two weeks now. I think once there was like one quick wake up where I sort of felt like I needed to just um, relieve my old boobs anyway. So I just put him on for five minutes and that was it. But otherwise he he sleeps through. So very strange to me how the daytime naps are not winning.
[10:17 – 11:42]
Meg Faure: Yeah, so it’s very interesting. So the first point of departure that I always take is and I was just about to ask you when you told me is I was going to say, “What are the nights like?” And by and large, if nights are going well like he’s doing, then my attitude is do not rock any boats. Like night sleep is so critical and it’s such a hard slog for so many moms and babies to get little ones sleeping through the night that if things are going well there, like then don’t worry about the day. It’s whatever is happening, whatever you’re doing, it’s working because it might be a bit of a pain for you in that you’re having to carry him around, but in actual fact, the fact that he’s sleeping well at night, I wouldn’t be too worried. So so that’s the first thing. Having said that, when you and you know, you bring up this topic of he got a little bit spoiled over the holidays or there were so many hands to do the contact napping and you’re in a nap trap now, contact nap trap and so it all of those sort of things are the rhetoric that kind of almost sit like ghosts behind mothers, like really to scare them. Everybody’s terrified of this kind of “Am I going to spoil my baby?” So I mean the reality is that until 12 weeks of age, babies absolutely can’t be spoiled and even past they can’t but certainly in their first three months quite simply because they don’t have long term memory. So what’s happened is you’ve met all his needs for contact, you’ve met his needs for love and attention, you’ve met his needs for feeding and nourishment and on the back of all of that is established good night sleep as well. And so in principle, absolutely perfect.
[11:42 – 12:51]
Meg Faure: What does happen between 12 and 14 and maybe 16 weeks is that they do start to create sleep expectations. And that’s the thing that moms get worried about. Like, is there going to be the expectation that they have to lie next to me, be held by me all the time for night times as well? Because that’s what, that would be a nightmare where you kind of up every 45 minutes holding them because they won’t go to sleep unless they’re in your arms. And that would be a situation where I would say, right, now we need to make some changes. So for as long as that’s not happening, I would just go with it as you are. The minute you start to get a sense that he will not settle, and this will particularly start to happen in the evening when you start to put him down. If he won’t settle in the evening unless he’s in a contact nap, um, and then it starts to kind of push on into the middle of the night, then I would say then you do need to start just guiding him towards more independent sleeping. And that would be not necessarily doing anything like controlled crying or anything like that, but actually just sitting with him and using slightly different contact. So whereas before it was contact on your chest, let’s say, or lying next to you, now it’s contact with your hand on them and patting them and sitting with them. So it’s just a little bit further distance. So I like a more gradual approach because I think it works. It allows them to learn that they can sleep separate, but it also gives them, you know, the contact that they’re desiring.
[12:51 – 14:30]
Meg Faure: And so if you start to see there’s a little bit of a rot happening, that’s where I would be going is to start to help him to really start to settle on his own, but with you there. Um, but for now, I would not change anything. I mean, you know, if you can continue as you are, a couple of things you can try and do if you want to extricate yourself from him a little quicker after he’s laying down next to you is a weighted blanket. I love weighted blankets because they give that sense that they’ve got the contact and that they’re on you. So that’s a tool that I like. And, you know, as long as it’s kind of below their under their arms and below, it’s safe and as long as they’re sleeping on their back, it’s safe as well. So I would, or maybe their side, but definitely not on their tummy. So I think you can start to use a weighted blanket. And the other thing that I love are these little um, cot rockers. So they kind of attach onto a cot or onto a pram and they’ve got a very mild vibration. You can even get it as a little pad that you put on the mattress quite far away from them, but it just creates a little bit of a buzz. And that buzz is something that we we’ve got in our bodies all the time because we’re not dead still. And that helps them to um, sleep independently. And then the third thing, which is also part of who we are when we’re carrying our babies is white noise as well. So those three strategies, weighted blanket, a little bit of of vibration and white noise can actually almost be that link between what he’s got at the moment and then actually doing it independently. And if you can use that and he’s doing well at night, I think you’re probably onto a good wicket and I wouldn’t worry too much.
[14:30 – 15:33]
Nina Clark: Okay, fab. So you’re saying, um, you know, I don’t need to change anything necessarily during the day, even between the 12 and 16 week mark, because now they might be the sleep, what did you call them?
Meg Faure: Progressions or regressions. I don’t know. You can call them anything. And the expectations, I think it was something like that where it’s like, okay, well, I expect that he is now going to do XYZ for me to be able to fall asleep. Those things are now going to start um, cementing themselves in their little memories because they’re now actually starting to create memories, right? So is that not when I need to start being a little bit careful with how I go about it?
Meg Faure: In an ideal world, yes, and I always say to moms, aim high. So you’re aiming high when we talk about aiming high, we’re talking about passing on a little bit of independence to our little ones with regards to sleep. So giving them a little bit of independence, a little bit of control, trying to see whether or not they can start to self-soothe. So that’s aiming high. I do, I am always super conscious of the fact that this can create a lot of anxiety for moms though, because suddenly it’s like, “Oh my goodness, he’s got to learn to self-soothe, he’s got to be separate from me. I’m going to create a rod for my back. They’re going to be these sleep expectations. Um, a sleep regression is coming,” you know, all of these things kind of build up for moms and there’s can be a lot of hyper emotion and negative expectations around from us, not from them, but expectations around sleep.
[15:33 – 16:26]
Meg Faure: And I do think that while things are working, don’t panic. But if you do want to start to so-called aim high, you can start to settle him on his own with patting, with sitting with him. Um, if he’s a good sleeper, he will start to piece that together, you know, quite quickly probably. And then, you know, the one thing I would say is, is actually I would say this, is co-sleeping and contact sleeping is a very easy um, so-called habit to shift. I I’m never phased about those. They’re really are very easy to shift. The thing that’s not easy is breastfeeding to sleep. Even bottle feeding is easy to shift, but breastfeeding to sleep is very difficult. And the reason for that is that breastfeeding to sleep comes with human contact, lots of love and nurturing and warm milk. And the combination of those three things together make it a very difficult habit to break. And what I do see is that if you are feeding to sleep at this age, this kind of 14 to 16 weeks, that’s when we start to see things long-term. And to break a feed to sleep habit with breast milk is exceptionally difficult. You know, it’s one of the ones where moms came into my practice, I would like, okay, we’ve really got to double down and focus in on this because, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s a tricky one.
[16:26 – 16:57]
Nina Clark: So my suggestion would be, you know, one thing lying next to him and contact napping, another thing having your boob in his mouth and letting him snack in order to fall asleep and when he wakes up in order to go back to sleep. That is that is one that I do, I do I am concerned about. So that’s the one that you’re going to maybe try and be a little bit more conscious about. And then for the contact napping, you know, use all the crutches that I mentioned, aim high and if you do need to contact nap, it’s not the end of the world. And also for that last nap of the day, very often the nap that they don’t like taking or don’t take easily is that kind of nap between four and six in the evening, you know, that that nap. And that nap’s very often a contact nap and I’ve got no problems with that. That is literally what I do far too often is the feeding to sleep, but literally to the point where he just sits on the boob and he just keeps sucking, sucking, sucking as he goes.
[16:58 – 17:00]
Meg Faure: Yeah. And that’s the one that…
[17:00 – 17:56]
Meg Faure: You know, and and again, you know, we must always remember and I’m so conscious of both cultural and personal um, preferences when it comes to parenting advice because you know, there are a lot of moms who really like the feed to sleep and they’re very comfortable doing it and waking up for it until their child’s two or three years old, you know, so it’s not a hassle. And culturally that happens in a lot of cultures as well. Western cultures slightly different because often, often we want to get on the go, we need to go away for the weekend or whatever it is, things are different. But if you are of the belief system that you actually don’t mind being the dummy, then there is no problem. So nothing’s a problem unless it’s a problem for you. But if it’s something that you don’t want to be long-term, if you for you, you don’t want him to be sleeping in your bed, you know, for a much longer period of time and needing that um, feed to sleep, then you do need to start thinking of it because if you’re not going to break the habit now, you’re going to have to break it at some point. And the longer you leave it, the more painful it gets.
[17:56 – 18:32]
Nina Clark: I must say with Max, I was basically a feed to sleep mom until I stopped breastfeeding. So almost for that first two years. And it worked because I was with him the whole time. So it wasn’t a problem. Um, and I, he actually was such a good sleeper. So he would maybe wake up once or twice a night and it would be a very quick feed, maybe five minutes and he would go down again. So it didn’t, it didn’t break my sleep too much. Um, and it was, you know, the most comforting thing for him and easiest as well. I didn’t really have to get anything prepared, anything warm, anything up, you know. Um, but maybe this time around it’s not going to be as suitable. So who knows?
[18:32 – 19:10]
Meg Faure: Well, this will resonate beautifully with a whole lot of moms. I, at the moment, I’ve got another mom who’s who I’m also tracking her journey, um, Julia. And she’s very different from you in her parenting style. And I mean, it’s been so wonderful for me to really engage with both of you because you are almost opposite ends of the continuum. And that’s what I that’s what I love about it because you know, of the moms that are listening, there will be moms who are listening who are going, “There is no way that I’m going to feed to sleep. I need routine, I need my own space,” you know, and then there are the moms who are much more like, “I want to go with the flow. I want to, you know, be much more relaxed about this. I don’t mind that it’s going to be 18 months old and still needing to be in and out of my bed to be fed to sleep.” And, you know, I think sometimes moms get judgy on one or the other, you know, your moms who are much more laissez-faire get judgy on the moms who like routine and talk about self-soothing.
[19:10 – 19:30]
Meg Faure: And then the moms who talk about self-soothing think, “How on earth are those mothers doing it? You know, why don’t they want their own bodies and beds back?” You know? And actually, there is truly, there is space for both because in both situations, as long as you are meeting your child’s emotional needs and you are getting enough rest to be able to focus on them emotionally during the day and you’re responding to their their needs and and their and those circles of communication we spoke about at the beginning, then you’re ticking the most important box, which is the emotional box.
[19:30 – 20:00]
Meg Faure: You know, everything else will fall into place and it doesn’t matter how long they breastfeed for, how they breastfeed, where they sleep. The important thing is how emotionally available you can be on the type of sleep that you’re getting. And that’s really what it boils down to.
Nina Clark: So true. Happy mom, happy baby as well, hey? Um, Meg, there was one question that I wanted to ask you and I’m scared we’re not going to have time. So I want to just throw it in there for you because this is now the biggest issue we’re dealing with with Josh is um, baby car situations. This boy is the most chilled little kid ever until he gets in the car and then it is, it is absolute carnage.
[20:00 – 20:03]
Nina Clark: I would love some tips on how to deal with that because he just, I mean, whether I sit next to him at the back and he can see me, we try the dummy, he often definitely does not want to take the dummy then because he’s just too upset. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried to put, you know, little things there to keep him busy, but yeah, no, it’s just, I like hate being in the car with him now.
[20:03 – 20:24]
Meg Faure: So I want to ask you, if you put him in his car seat not in the car, is he fine? So if he’s in a seat in, if he’s in a contained car seat when it’s still, is it still an issue or is it actually being placed in the car seat?
Nina Clark: Um, I mean, we never really place him in the car seat when he’s not in the car. Um, so we’ll, if he falls asleep in the car seat at some stage, which very seldom happens because he’s so sad, then you know, we’ll take him out of the car and he’ll still sleep in the car seat, but we won’t necessarily put him in there just from a as a as a baseline.
[20:24 – 20:25]
Meg Faure: Is that a good strategy to do actually?
[20:25 – 20:58]
Meg Faure: No, it’s better to do exactly what you’re doing, which is not to put him in it. So definitely, like I like I have a major problem with kiddies being put into car seats for too long, they need to come straight out as soon as they’re not travelling, definitely because of their their muscles. But the reason I asked it is that we’re dealing with two things here. So the one, the one thing you’re dealing with is body position, like being in a sedentary position in a certain curvature, like just the positioning of it. And the other one is the fact that the car’s moving. So that’s why I try to delineate the two. So let’s break it down into the two. So if he doesn’t like being in a car seat because it’s too sedentary, forget about the movement, but let’s say at home where you put him in a car seat because you’re feeding Max and you just need him to be still and contained and somewhere, but he’s awake and then he immediately starts to cry, it could be that he does not like the sedentary position, which actually interestingly goes with our sensory seekers because they, their bodies need a little bit of movement and activation.
[20:58 – 22:20]
Meg Faure: They almost need their proprioceptive feedback in order to feel self-regulated and they get very um, irritable when they don’t have that feedback. So the way that you can deal with that for him is, first of all, it might be worth just um, having a little pup into a chiropractor, just to just have a look at how his spine’s nicely aligned because there can be a little bit of something going on there. I would probably try that. And the second thing I would do is I would get a weighted blanket and when he does need to be in the car seat, in the car particularly because that’s the only time you’re going to do it, but anytime you just pop it over him because that little bit of weight will give him a bit of proprioceptive feedback that maybe he’s lacking while he’s in this very um, sedentary and passive position, very passive position in terms of muscles. So that’s the first piece and that you can deal with. So a little bit of chiropractic, a little bit of deep pressure. Um, then the other piece is the sensory piece, which is of course the vestibular system. And some of our little ones don’t like it when our sensory systems don’t line up. So if if you’re moving as an example, if you’re moving in a forward direction and you can see everything passing your eyes going backwards, your your senses are aligned. Your sensory integration makes sense. I’m moving forward, my vestibular system’s telling me that, the world is moving backwards, my visual system is telling me that, so everything makes sense, the world makes sense, I can deal with it. The problem with car seats is that you’re rear facing. And so what happens is you don’t get any of the visual feedback that tells you that you’re moving because the visual feedback when you’re staring at the back of the seat is that you’re dead still. And the vestibular feedback is that you’re moving backwards, you’re moving into back space, which is often where that sensitivity comes from.
[22:21 – 22:53]
Meg Faure: So one of the things that you can do, which is not recommended in terms of car seats, and I don’t even know if the modern car seats can do it, the old fashioned ones used to be able to choose, is you could turn his car seat around and face him forward and see if that makes any difference because then what happens is my visual system is aligning with my vestibular system and the world makes sense again. So that is one of the things you can try. I don’t know if these Isofix car seats actually allow that. I think potentially they don’t. So you’d need to look at that. So I would try that. The other thing to do is, and I know you’ve mentioned that you sit next to him, but you could also have a mirror that he can look at. So hang a nice mirror over the backrest of the car seat so that he can actually look at himself in the mirror, look at something in the mirror.
[22:53 – 23:26]
Meg Faure: Um, and then also obviously give him something to look at that distracts him. Um, those are really the only things that you can do, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s kind of deal with the proprioceptive system with deep pressure, try and give him something to look at and then in worst case scenario actually turn him around and face forward. And then the last thing is, I promise it’ll pass. And it’s very interesting how this is the one thing that just suddenly gets better. Um, and you know, you can’t quite put a time on it, but it will get better. So, yeah, I don’t know how helpful that is. Yeah.
[23:26 – 23:36]
Nina Clark: Super helpful. I really do feel like I need to get that weighted blanket though. Two very good opportunities that you’ve now mentioned that I need to and that I could use it to, yeah.
[23:36 – 24:19]
Meg Faure: And especially if he is a sensory seeker, which he’s tending to build a little bit of a picture towards being a sensory seeker. There was a couple of things that you said like, you said when he was trying to make sounds, he arches his back and does his kind of cutie positioning. And you know, that that’s all getting all that feedback from our bodies that he’s he’s really trying to access. So I think, I think that he is going to be, and and the oral, like there’s a whole little picture building around little Joshie that says that he’s going to be a little bit of a sensory seeker. Um, he is already a flirt. I’ve seen his pictures on Instagram. And so we can see that he’s social. So, um, yeah, so I think the whole picture says maybe, you know, he’s a bit of a sensory seeker. And that means that a weighted blanket is a great thing. Um, and the business, I mean, I don’t endorse any weighted blankets, but the one that I do find quite good is the Nurture One. It’s a it’s a kind of a really small, I think it’s 180 grams. I can’t remember exactly. It’s not too heavy. Um, and that’s a really nice little one. You know, you also get your very big weighted blankets and he’s not ready for those.
[24:19 – 24:20]
Nina Clark: Okay, noted.
[24:21 – 24:26]
Nina Clark: Great. I’ll get my hands on one of those.
Meg Faure: Brilliant. Pleasure. And Nina, well, it’s been wonderful to chat again.
[24:26 – 24:34]
Meg Faure: I just love following his journey and your journey. You guys are really doing an amazing job and I love the way that your version of early mothering is so different to to Julia’s. And so we’re getting so many different perspectives. I love it.
[24:34 – 24:36]
Nina Clark: Yeah, each to their own, hey?
[24:36 – 24:41]
Meg Faure: Exactly. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Nina, and we will definitely chat again soon.
[24:41 – 24:42]
Nina Clark: Chat soon. Cheers.
[24:43 – 24:52]
Announcer: Thanks to everyone who joined us. We will see you the same time next week. Until then, download ParentSense app and take the guesswork out of parenting.
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